"Giving Room to Grow"

Scripture Passage

2 Samuel 6:12; 1 Chronicles 15:1-28; 2 Samuel 6:12-16; 1 Chronicles 15:29; 2 Samuel 6:17-19; 1 Chronicles 16:1-43; 2 Samuel 6:19-23

Scripture Focus

When David returned home to bless his own family, Michal, the daughter of Saul, came out to meet him. She said in disgust, “How distinguished the king of Israel looked today, shamelessly exposing himself to the servant girls like any vulgar person might do!” (2 Samuel 6:20 NLT)

Observation

What a shame—when David returns home to bless his family, he’s rebuked by his own wife!

It’d been a great day of victory—spiritual victory—for David and the nation he leads. The Ark—the symbol of God’s Presence among His people—has been brought to the capital city of Jerusalem, marking it like never before as the religious center for Israel’s worship of Yahweh. The procession was marked by shouts of joy, celebratory music, and David (and others, I’m sure) dancing before the Lord. Better yet, there were government handouts for everybody—“a loaf of bread, a cake of dates, and a cake of raisins” (2 Sam 6:19)!

But Michal, David’s wife, is not part of the procession, and certainly not part of the celebration. Instead, she looks down on David (literally and figuratively) and is “filled with contempt for him” (2 Sam 6:16). When this incredible day is over, she greets her husband with soul-slicing sarcasm:

“How distinguished the king of Israel looked today, shamelessly exposing himself to the servant girls like any vulgar person might do!” (2 Samuel 6:20 NLT)

What’s up with that? I understand that this is a complicated situation. Michal has been passed around like a Christmas fruitcake. She was first given as a bride to David, but then re-gifted to Paltiel when the relationship between David and Saul went south. Then, as part of the negotiations to make David king over all Israel, David insisted on her return. As messed up as it all is, it certainly appears that David loved Michal as she had once loved him (1 Sam 18:20).

But something’s changed with Michal, and now she wants nothing to do with David’s success…or Israel’s progress. Instead of being identified as the wife of David, she’s identified in this passage as the “daughter of Saul”—meaning her connection and identity was tied to what had been instead of what was—now.

I suppose it’s a bit of a stretch to make this connection, but I am amazed at how often women pray and pray for their husbands to come to Christ and long to see their husbands involved in the life of the local church and then—when it happens—grow resentful of the time and energy that husband begins to give to the work of God. All this reminds me—on a larger scale—of how essential it is that married couples leave room in their lives for a spouse to grow, to change, to become someone other than the person they married (or imagined they married).

I understand that statement is fraught with potential complications and situations I could never address here. Still—what if your spouse became sold out to Jesus in a way they never had before? What if your spouse’s heart became enthralled with a Kingdom consciousness that changed who they were, and your relationship as a result? Would Jesus still get first place in all that? Could you still pray, “Whatever you want to do with my spouse—and with me—I want it”?

I suppose I’m rambling on about all this today in part, at least, because of something I heard a fellow pastor say earlier this week: “When a wife won’t allow her husband to change, he may as well just pick up a purse and start following her!” I wouldn’t have said it quite like that—but I appreciate the sentiment. I don’t want to despise what you’re doing in those closest to me, Lord—I want to rejoice in it and encourage it!